Love & Understanding: House of Courage graduates first mom

By Melanie Tucker
of The Daily Times Staff

Six years ago, the House of Courage existed solely in the heart of one woman who used her own courage for change.

A woman who can tell teen mothers "I've been there."

A woman who prayed to God to bring the right people into her life to make this work.

That woman is Bonnie Skolfield, the founder of House of Courage, which sits on the border of Blount and Knox counties. It is a Christian-based transitional home for unwed teen mothers and their babies that offers a safe place to live while the mothers receive life skills training to rebuild broken lives.

The young mothers stay anywhere from six months up to two years. Training includes financial responsibility, parenting, nutrition, vocational development and spiritual growth.

On March 9, the first mom graduated from the program. Dani, and her then 4-month-old daughter Bella moved into House of Courage back in October 2007. A tense relationship with her own mother and severance of the relationship with Bella's father, put Dani in a desperate situation. She lived in a shelter in Knoxville before finding out about House of Courage.

She and Bella spent the next six months as the first residents at House of Courage. Skolfield even moved in for the last three months of Dani's stay as staffing continued to be worked out.

Today, Dani is enrolled in an independent living program and has a full-time job. She is getting her driver's license and has saved money to purchase a car that has been donated to the program.

Laying the groundwork

Skolfield was a teen mother herself and developed a heavy heart to serve others. She began laying the groundwork to open House of Courage after finding a suitable building that at one point was even auctioned off and then returned to her. It would take close to three years to make necessary renovations, obtain proper licensing and create a program that combines parts of other successful plans but that also became uniquely its own.

"Many, many, many times I almost gave up," Skolfield said as she looked back on all of the obstacles and requirements to become licensed. "But inevitably there would be a phone call and you hear the desperate voice of someone needing help."

The House of Courage has a board of directors and relies on private donations and grants to operate. Churches have begun to make monthly contributions, and so have individuals who have believed in this cause since Day 1. There are two major fundraisers each year, a banquet and golf tournament. The golfers are out on the course today at Royal Oaks in Maryville.

When they first come to House of Courage, the young mothers receive parenting instruction and the opportunity to bond with their babies. They are responsible for the menu planning, shopping and cooking in the house and are expected to keep their rooms clean. Bible classes are offered, but not required. And lessons on financial responsibility through the Dave Ramsey program are taught. Today, there are three new moms and their babies living in the house. The house is licensed to care for six teen moms and their children.

An army of volunteers

Skolfield said she gets calls every day from right here in the neighborhood and from Nashville, Kentucky and even Texas. Teen moms and referral organizations have heard about House of Courage, and one has even asked Skolfield to come open one in their state. She said there are no other Christian-based homes for unwed mothers in Knox or Blount counties.

Skolfield has hired a caseworker to manage the house and also relies on skilled volunteers. There are those who come in to do yard work or help with upkeep of the home. Volunteers come and share their talents in jewelry making or quilting, Skolfield explained. One of the residents wanted to learn Spanish and a volunteer was willing to provide the training.

There are literally hundreds of people who have contributed time or money or both to the program, Skolfield said.

"I can't thank them enough," the founder said. "These are people who have supported me financially for four or five years. They didn't give up. That's what has kept me going. It would have never happened without them."

That includes the support of her own family. Husband Bruce serves as secretary on the board, and Skolfield said her daughters and grandchildren are all interested and involved.

The courage to lead

In the beginning, Skolfield related her own struggles as a teen mom to illustrate the need that she wanted to fill. Today, the story is transforming into the success of the program itself, through stories like Dani's.

Had she not spent that time at House of Courage, Dani said she probably would have continued to make bad choices. She said the patience, love, lessons and understanding Skolfield showed her allowed her to move beyond fear and rejection to start over.

She admits she felt like she needed to hurry up and get on with her life and put unneeded stresses on herself. Today, she has matured beyond her 19 years and looks forward to the future with Bella.

"I was ready, because of House of Courage, to take the next step," Dani said.

She still looks at House of Courage as "her house" and said she will maintain a connection with Skolfield for years to come. She has also gone back to speak to the current residents.

It took six years. That is a long road that has now given one mom the courage to move beyond a painful past. As Skolfield glanced down at a photograph of Bella she couldn't erase the smile from her face.

"What is she worth?" Skolfield asked. "Is she worth six years of work? Absolutely. Absolutely. I would do it all over again for that."

Others are coming behind and Skolfield continues to be focused on the mission.

"I didn't do this by myself," she said. "This isn't me. It's hard for people to understand that I am a spectator, too. I don't own it. It took people stepping up to the plate. One of my first prayers was for God to stir the hearts of those He wanted involved and that they would answer the call -- and they have."